Are You Emotionally Ready for Intimacy After Divorce?

You are feeling good about this new relationship after the divorce… the conversations, the laughing, the kissing, maybe even hand-holding.

Now, the next step is for intimacy.

But are you emotionally ready for it?

Emotions play a huge part in all types of relationships. Some think about intimacy with someone one else seconds after signing the divorce papers. Others think about friendship that could lead to intimacy.

Everyone navigates intimacy differently after divorce.

Getting back in the physical stage of a relationship, especially a new one, can be a mix of feelings and emotions.

• Is this right?
• Do they make me feel good?
• Am I sexually attractive enough for them?
• Do they engage in meaningful conversations or is it just surface talk?
• Do you think about them when you get up and go to bed?
• Are they attentive?
• Do you wonder how their day is going?
• Does the relationship take on a new stage once intimacy is involved?

If you are trying to increase your emotional connection with your partner, here a few ideas that might help.

• 1.    Daily Appreciation

  Do you text while each other is at work? Are you just eager to talk with them at the end of the day? Do you feel that this new partner is genuinely interested in conversation with you?

• 2.    Express Understanding

  When your partner talks about something(s) that did not go right for them, do you just try to solve it? Sometimes partners just want an understanding of what they are going through. Express common frustration. People feel cared for and loved when they are heard and understood.

• 3.    Affection

  I talked about how partners might want to explore intimacy after divorce earlier, but it is also important to keep up the affection that you both enjoy… kissing, holding hands, hugging, and cuddling are all ways to increase the emotional side of a relationship.

Remember in all of these types of situations, communication is key.